Am I glad I'm not elephant!!!! NOT referring to size, LOL, but gestation period....645 days, that's nearly 2 years:/
The past few months have been nothing but a rollercoaster ride, super highs, super lows and in betweens...but like all things, the finish line is fast approaching.
After having an internal conflict with myself, changing my mind every month...the whole "natural VS cesarean" debate, I have finally made up my mind and opted for cesarean...simply because I choose to, that is the choice I feel most comfortable with and so it has been decided. She is due to arrive Wednesday, 27 November 2013, 1pm at Rhino Park (that's if she doesn't decide to surprise us) !!!
After spending 9 months with my home doctor, since he delivered me he was to deliver baba too, but things don't always go according to plan do they *major sigh* thus far he's the only glitch...in an "extreme camping" accident, Dr. Laurie broke his arm and is currently in a cast. Talk about timing huh?! We were then referred to his friend who we saw last week, his aura is welcoming but I'm still fazed by my doctor. At 36 weeks, Clarissa weighs in at 2.9kgs...she already weighs more than I did when I was born...grow baby grow:)
There is not an emotion that I'm not feeling right now, in less than 10 days she will be in my arms, all that's left to do now is to wait!
In the mean time, I'm putting the past behind me, I feel there's no better time to forgive and forget, if I can't do it, how am I to pass on such teachings to my daughter. Live with an open heart but always keep your guard up too.
Our hospital bags are packed and we are as ready as we could be. Catching up on sleep and series while I still can has been top priority since exams finished. With this, I'd like to extend a special thanks to everyone who has undergone this journey with me, no matter how small or large the contribution, it is appreciated!
And to my Yellow, who has supported me every step of the way, his story is one I'd love to pass on to my son, God willing! I tell you this, it wasn't easy but then again nothing worth having ever is... and here we stand together still, waiting to hold our little bundle of joy!!!
May the count down begin...
Sunday, 17 November 2013
Tuesday, 8 October 2013
My Baby Shower:):):)
I guess you can say my Saturday started off like any other Saturday!
I went to a kiddies party at the zoo with my mom-in-law, and decided to take advantage of my surroundings and study while the children played in the open space! Thereafter, Yellow came to get me so we could have our much favored Wimpy breakfast "WIMPY!!!! Jou lekker breakfast" *singing*
Oh, anyway, then I was to have lunch with my girls Davely and Guilot...so I was dropped off... undisclosed location (hint hint, it's a naughty place) !!! As usual, Davely was "running late" so I thought nothing of it...Guilot even bought the ingredients of the meal she was to prepare for us!
Lo and behold, all my girls were gathered at my house, waiting to surprise me!!!! So Guilot said that Davely was dropped off at my house and that we had to get her and pick up my bikini...and when we went inside... SURPRISE!!!!
There they were, all waiting for me!!!! It really was a touching moment. Overwhelmed with emotion, I couldn't help but shed a tear, so blessed to have these ladies in my life! And the gifts!!! This baby is so sorted and I didn't even buy a thing! Amongst the heaps of baby clothes, nappies, bottles, microwave sanitizer, baby blankets and pacifiers, even Yellow chipped in with the help of my sister and got me the baby gym I so badly wanted for little Clare!
My godchildren came too, of course they just wanted to open all the pressies:) Even my daddy made an appearance and told us a story of when I was younger, thanks for that dad!
We swam, we talked, the girls drank, and we just had a very relaxed baby shower...I wouldn't have wanted it any other way! Major shout out to everyone who made it happen!
What more can I ask for in this world when I have the gift of great friends, family and my Yellow! I cannot thank everybody enough that made an effort to be there or simply buy something for the little one.
I went to a kiddies party at the zoo with my mom-in-law, and decided to take advantage of my surroundings and study while the children played in the open space! Thereafter, Yellow came to get me so we could have our much favored Wimpy breakfast "WIMPY!!!! Jou lekker breakfast" *singing*
Oh, anyway, then I was to have lunch with my girls Davely and Guilot...so I was dropped off... undisclosed location (hint hint, it's a naughty place) !!! As usual, Davely was "running late" so I thought nothing of it...Guilot even bought the ingredients of the meal she was to prepare for us!
Lo and behold, all my girls were gathered at my house, waiting to surprise me!!!! So Guilot said that Davely was dropped off at my house and that we had to get her and pick up my bikini...and when we went inside... SURPRISE!!!!
There they were, all waiting for me!!!! It really was a touching moment. Overwhelmed with emotion, I couldn't help but shed a tear, so blessed to have these ladies in my life! And the gifts!!! This baby is so sorted and I didn't even buy a thing! Amongst the heaps of baby clothes, nappies, bottles, microwave sanitizer, baby blankets and pacifiers, even Yellow chipped in with the help of my sister and got me the baby gym I so badly wanted for little Clare!
My godchildren came too, of course they just wanted to open all the pressies:) Even my daddy made an appearance and told us a story of when I was younger, thanks for that dad!
We swam, we talked, the girls drank, and we just had a very relaxed baby shower...I wouldn't have wanted it any other way! Major shout out to everyone who made it happen!
What more can I ask for in this world when I have the gift of great friends, family and my Yellow! I cannot thank everybody enough that made an effort to be there or simply buy something for the little one.
Tuesday, 1 October 2013
No Paparazzi Please!!!
Hello readers:)
I know, I know...I took my time to get back to writing after our 3rd failed attempt at a 4D ultrasound! Well between working at Nbc, school tests and assignments and two hospital scares (we are both ok!!!! Thank God) ...things have just been a little crazy around me!!!
This time around, I took Beauty with me, to use as my good luck charm...and you know what, it just bought out the little yogi side of Clarissa (who is now nicknamed Clare:)...her foot was in front of her face, so we could get no clear pictures of her beautiful face!!!
We did however, get a few sneak peaks of her, side view only, and the sonographer was kind enough to print them out for us! So that's that, baby Clare has declared 'no paparazzi' and so it shall remain until she graces us with her presence:):):)
She weighs in at 1.6kgs, which is apparently big for her age (currently 29 weeks), showing she's at about 32 weeks now! Please slow your roll sweet child, mommy still has exams to write:/ Yellow and I grow steadily excited as each night her kicks to my ribs and jabs to my bladder, which sometimes hurt by the way, put wide smiles on our faces - he even feels her movements when I put my tummy against his back, I don't think we've ever been this excited before!
And so the waiting continues...+- 73 days to go!!!!
Can you see her face? Yellow says she has my big eyes and my round nose...and that's her little foot in front of her face:):):)
I know, I know...I took my time to get back to writing after our 3rd failed attempt at a 4D ultrasound! Well between working at Nbc, school tests and assignments and two hospital scares (we are both ok!!!! Thank God) ...things have just been a little crazy around me!!!
This time around, I took Beauty with me, to use as my good luck charm...and you know what, it just bought out the little yogi side of Clarissa (who is now nicknamed Clare:)...her foot was in front of her face, so we could get no clear pictures of her beautiful face!!!
We did however, get a few sneak peaks of her, side view only, and the sonographer was kind enough to print them out for us! So that's that, baby Clare has declared 'no paparazzi' and so it shall remain until she graces us with her presence:):):)
She weighs in at 1.6kgs, which is apparently big for her age (currently 29 weeks), showing she's at about 32 weeks now! Please slow your roll sweet child, mommy still has exams to write:/ Yellow and I grow steadily excited as each night her kicks to my ribs and jabs to my bladder, which sometimes hurt by the way, put wide smiles on our faces - he even feels her movements when I put my tummy against his back, I don't think we've ever been this excited before!
And so the waiting continues...+- 73 days to go!!!!
Can you see her face? Yellow says she has my big eyes and my round nose...and that's her little foot in front of her face:):):) Sunday, 15 September 2013
4D Ultrasound
The long awaited 4D ultrasound...you can only get it between 25-28 weeks...and so I waited, and I'm finally past 25weeks!!! yay
So I called, my excitement brimming over the telephone. Wednesday 11 September, I was told! The morning thereof I was up since 4am, excited like the child on her first day at a new school!
And there we were. The sonographer tells us that there has to be fluid in front of the baby's face in order for us to get pictures of her...and if she's awake we'll even get to see as she blinks. Mind you on our way to the practice she was awake and kicking...when it was time to take her pictures, missis was fast asleep with her face pressed against her hand, and that pressed against my uterus. So now, there's no fluid in front of her face...and she was sleeping, she also refused to wake up for nothing and nobody!!! Stubborn much? Yellow says from the little that he did see, she has his sister's nose...how cute.
And that's how time ran out for us, I was told to eat chocolate and have some coke when we come again next week (now they tell me!!!) So for those of ya'll planning on getting 4D ultrasounds, know this before you go. Sigh, now it's to wait again before we get to go...we're scheduled in for the 18th, hopefully this time around we will actually get a sneak preview!!!
Keep an eye out for her readers:):):)
So I called, my excitement brimming over the telephone. Wednesday 11 September, I was told! The morning thereof I was up since 4am, excited like the child on her first day at a new school!
And there we were. The sonographer tells us that there has to be fluid in front of the baby's face in order for us to get pictures of her...and if she's awake we'll even get to see as she blinks. Mind you on our way to the practice she was awake and kicking...when it was time to take her pictures, missis was fast asleep with her face pressed against her hand, and that pressed against my uterus. So now, there's no fluid in front of her face...and she was sleeping, she also refused to wake up for nothing and nobody!!! Stubborn much? Yellow says from the little that he did see, she has his sister's nose...how cute.
And that's how time ran out for us, I was told to eat chocolate and have some coke when we come again next week (now they tell me!!!) So for those of ya'll planning on getting 4D ultrasounds, know this before you go. Sigh, now it's to wait again before we get to go...we're scheduled in for the 18th, hopefully this time around we will actually get a sneak preview!!!
Keep an eye out for her readers:):):)
Silver lining?
I just read my last blog...and if that was a 'pothole' I have no idea what to call the past few weeks! I am five days away from 7 months, almost reaching the third trimester!!!
I don't know if it's the culmination of hormones, the actions of those I love most around me or just everything meshed together into one big ball of a mess...
It's so hard, I never imagined that I'd feel so low in what is suppose to be 'the happiest time of my life'.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has actually been through this stage, I spoke to a friend of mine who went through similar trials. I've shared so much with my readers, let's take it a step further.
I felt lower than low and alone, like I had absolutely no one left that genuinely cares for me, or this is what it felt like for me. I know I've had the best support system ever, but when the one person that you want and need the most is not there, it feels like the world can end. That's why my respect for single mothers grows more and more each day, how do you do it??? You have to be some kind of super woman!!! So we went through what was the roughest of rough patches in our relationship yet, a true test of 'what is meant to be does not come easy'. Here we stand on the other side of all the BS and what not...eish, it's not easy!!!
I don't want to dwell on the negative so much, I'm trying to avoid all things stressful, but we are emotional beings, baby is at some point to be exposed to these feelings. But like I said before, SEEK HELP if you're drowning in these emotions!!!
I don't know if it's the culmination of hormones, the actions of those I love most around me or just everything meshed together into one big ball of a mess...
It's so hard, I never imagined that I'd feel so low in what is suppose to be 'the happiest time of my life'.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who has actually been through this stage, I spoke to a friend of mine who went through similar trials. I've shared so much with my readers, let's take it a step further.
I felt lower than low and alone, like I had absolutely no one left that genuinely cares for me, or this is what it felt like for me. I know I've had the best support system ever, but when the one person that you want and need the most is not there, it feels like the world can end. That's why my respect for single mothers grows more and more each day, how do you do it??? You have to be some kind of super woman!!! So we went through what was the roughest of rough patches in our relationship yet, a true test of 'what is meant to be does not come easy'. Here we stand on the other side of all the BS and what not...eish, it's not easy!!!
I don't want to dwell on the negative so much, I'm trying to avoid all things stressful, but we are emotional beings, baby is at some point to be exposed to these feelings. But like I said before, SEEK HELP if you're drowning in these emotions!!!
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
Not ALL sunshine and roses!!!
So about two weeks back, I hit what seemed to be the 'pothole' of my pregnancy!!!
I was just feeling, 'bleh':/ My clothes don't fit anymore, my feet and back hurt like hell, I was just feeling lousy and round. The slightest thing set me off, I was a ball of tears...and worst off all, for the most part I had no reason AT ALL! I must admit, it was all overwhelming, that 'shit is real' type of moment!
It didn't matter how much everyone around me was telling me how beautiful I look, how well I'm carrying, how tiny my belly is for 6 months...I was just at a point where I was the fattest and ugliest person on the planet. It didn't help that someone who I used to be close with told me to my face how fat I am and how fat my nose is either...in that moment, she broke me! And I cried and I cried and I cried. If you think I'm exaggerating, ask my sisters and Yellow. It must have been hell week for them!
What I can say now is that to those who have pregnant people around them or in their lives, try to be sensitive, you have no idea what that mommy-to-be is going through at that moment in time! HELLO, of course I will gain weight, and if my nose and feet are swollen, be considerate not to point that out in such a harsh manner, especially not when you've experienced pregnancy yourself!!!
As much as it was a low point in my pregnancy, I really needed that, just to lie curled up in my bed and let all the tears out. Remember though, your emotional state is also transferred to the baby. So if this manic moment in time lasts longer than it's suppose to, get some help, talk to someone or seek professional help!
I'm back to my normally cheery self:):):) removed myself from negative people that are insensitive and just surround myself with friends and family that care for me. Also, I've fallen in love with my baby bump...although I can't wait to get back to my normal regular size again (tae bo galore) !!!
To all those telling me how I beautiful I look and how sexy my tummy is, thank you! It means more than you know:) So proud I stand, baby bump and all:):):):)
I was just feeling, 'bleh':/ My clothes don't fit anymore, my feet and back hurt like hell, I was just feeling lousy and round. The slightest thing set me off, I was a ball of tears...and worst off all, for the most part I had no reason AT ALL! I must admit, it was all overwhelming, that 'shit is real' type of moment!
It didn't matter how much everyone around me was telling me how beautiful I look, how well I'm carrying, how tiny my belly is for 6 months...I was just at a point where I was the fattest and ugliest person on the planet. It didn't help that someone who I used to be close with told me to my face how fat I am and how fat my nose is either...in that moment, she broke me! And I cried and I cried and I cried. If you think I'm exaggerating, ask my sisters and Yellow. It must have been hell week for them!
What I can say now is that to those who have pregnant people around them or in their lives, try to be sensitive, you have no idea what that mommy-to-be is going through at that moment in time! HELLO, of course I will gain weight, and if my nose and feet are swollen, be considerate not to point that out in such a harsh manner, especially not when you've experienced pregnancy yourself!!!
As much as it was a low point in my pregnancy, I really needed that, just to lie curled up in my bed and let all the tears out. Remember though, your emotional state is also transferred to the baby. So if this manic moment in time lasts longer than it's suppose to, get some help, talk to someone or seek professional help!
I'm back to my normally cheery self:):):) removed myself from negative people that are insensitive and just surround myself with friends and family that care for me. Also, I've fallen in love with my baby bump...although I can't wait to get back to my normal regular size again (tae bo galore) !!!
To all those telling me how I beautiful I look and how sexy my tummy is, thank you! It means more than you know:) So proud I stand, baby bump and all:):):):)
Tuesday, 6 August 2013
Intimacy ... or into me I see!!!
So.....let's talk about sex baby! (after all, that is what got us here in the first place:)
The trying is the 'fun' part...so they say! Trying is stressful!!! All those failed pregnancy tests...every month hoping you're 'late'. At some point you even start to imagine symptoms, 'my boobs are bigger! I've gained so much weight! I feel naar:/'
But eventually, there's light at the end of the tunnel. A tests shows those two lines you've so desperately been waiting to see!!! Now what?!
For me, the first three months were not so ayoba! We experienced morning sickness, so that kinda leaves one feeling 'not so sexy'. But there are other ways to show how much you still love each other...get creative lovers!!! The light at the end of that tunnel is the second trimester...I felt so sexy (until I found myself crying this morning because I felt like a ball) Trust me, these hormones don't play hey. And now I'm back to feeling my sexy self, round as I am:):):)
Hurdles -----> it's an adjustment for both myself and Yellow, now that the baby bump is all out there. We are both new to this but I always say, let your concerns be heard. He was worried, 'are we not hurting baby?' 'which positions are safe?' 'are we not rocking her?'
READ PEOPLE!!! READ!!!
I believe this is the only way to put all your fears at ease. Google is but a push of a button away! Also, ask your doctor, don't be shy!!!
You can get busy up until the very last day...and best believe that it's amongst one of the best times to do so:) Also, for the guys, there's no better way to have your girl feeling sexy!!!
So put those fears aside and love each other!!!!
The trying is the 'fun' part...so they say! Trying is stressful!!! All those failed pregnancy tests...every month hoping you're 'late'. At some point you even start to imagine symptoms, 'my boobs are bigger! I've gained so much weight! I feel naar:/'
But eventually, there's light at the end of the tunnel. A tests shows those two lines you've so desperately been waiting to see!!! Now what?!
For me, the first three months were not so ayoba! We experienced morning sickness, so that kinda leaves one feeling 'not so sexy'. But there are other ways to show how much you still love each other...get creative lovers!!! The light at the end of that tunnel is the second trimester...I felt so sexy (until I found myself crying this morning because I felt like a ball) Trust me, these hormones don't play hey. And now I'm back to feeling my sexy self, round as I am:):):)
Hurdles -----> it's an adjustment for both myself and Yellow, now that the baby bump is all out there. We are both new to this but I always say, let your concerns be heard. He was worried, 'are we not hurting baby?' 'which positions are safe?' 'are we not rocking her?'
READ PEOPLE!!! READ!!!
I believe this is the only way to put all your fears at ease. Google is but a push of a button away! Also, ask your doctor, don't be shy!!!
You can get busy up until the very last day...and best believe that it's amongst one of the best times to do so:) Also, for the guys, there's no better way to have your girl feeling sexy!!!
So put those fears aside and love each other!!!!
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