Words Will Never Be Enough

03:58am

Your tiny body has grown enough for me to tightly hug you
Your little arms can wrap around my neck now
Look how fast you've grown my little angel

I lift your sleeping body and place it firmly on my chest
My tears roll down your back as you sleep
I always said I'd never let you see me crying yet I wish to share so much with you...

My darling daughter, you are all I have
My words will never be enough to try to prove to you how much I love you
I can only pray I'm doing right by you
And I can only pray I'm doing right for you

I lay you down beside me and watch you sleep
I wipe away the tears and place my head on your tiny chest
I can hear your heart beating and all the turmoil is calm

It's far from easy trying to raise you on my own
You wake up and smile at me and I know you are worth all the sleepless nights
The night's spent worrying if I'm doing right by you
The weekends spent working so you have everything you need
The constant fight in trying to give you everything you want and need

Words will never be enough my child
I can only thank God for you and his endless mercies

Thank you for choosing me to your mom!
My words will never be enough 

Perfectly Flawed

Motherf*ckers never loved me...
Because I never loved me!

All dramatics out the way(pardon the French), I found my face buried in my daughter's lap as she slept last night. Suddenly I was flooded with the memory of the lowest low point in my life. 
I hadn't realized that I had not dealt with it until last week when I found myself telling the perfect stranger how my life nearly ended one fateful day in August whilst 8 months pregnant.

I found myself on the floor of my bedroom, endless tears found their way to my protruding belly, this was it, I was ready to take my own life and that of my unborn baby. What had brought me to this point, driven me over the edge? There is no event that I can blame on my actions, nobody to blame for allowing life to get to me...I only have the lack of self love to blame.
I look at her now and promise myself that no other human being can make me feel like I'm less than nothing,

I recently looked up the definition of perfectly flawed:

"Acceptance that nobody can be perfect, everyone has their flaws yet they embrace them, allow them to come to terms with their mistakes yet not allow them to define them"

I read it over and over again until it was so deeply instilled in me, I am not my flaws and mistakes. I am beautiful, I am a great mother, I am love and I am loved!

I've come a long way since that day, anyone who knows me knows how strongly I preach #SelfLove! It has been quite the journey...the road to loving myself unconditionally! And now, when I look at the precious life for which I am responsible, I thank the heavens for knocking some sense into me via Yellow's intervention that day.

Above all else, love yourself till it shows!
May others learn from your self love and love themselves just as much.
I deserve the best because I am the best me I can be
As corny as this may sound, self love saved my life!

To my baby girl, mommy is young and mommy will continue to make mistakes and learn from them. But you, you are my greatest achievement in life, my happiness is your happiness!

What's in a word

Mother
Mom
Baby mama
Mommy
Mama

What's in a word?

I am a mother, I give milk
I am a mom, I give love
I am a baby mama, she has dada's, uncles, grandpa's
I am a mommy, my baba's best friend
I am a mama, provider of unconditional love

So what's in a word
What defines you?
What defines me?
I am everything she needs me to be
When she needs me to be it

Most of all
I am love
I am laughter
I am happiness
I stumble
I fall
I cry
I get up
Laugh some more
I birth. I raise. I love

I AM MOMMY!

Claruby my Ruby!

Dear Baba

Mommy and daddy love each other very much
Mommy and daddy took that love and turned it into you
You are love my baby!
We might not always agree and see eye to eye
We compromise
We learn
We forgive
We grow
We love you!
Family isn't always that which you're born into
But those who come into your life and stay
Because of you we will always be a team
I can only pray that an extra mommy and daddy will love you as much as we do
My daughter, I'm not perfect
But I try to do right by you
Treat the people you love well my child
Let them love you
May you fight, forgive, learn, love and grow
You are all I ever wanted and more
Mommy has to learn to share you now
I will ALWAYS be in your heart

ALWAYS

Love Mommy