Motherf*ckers never loved me...
Because I never loved me!
All dramatics out the way(pardon the French), I found my face buried in my daughter's lap as she slept last night. Suddenly I was flooded with the memory of the lowest low point in my life.
I hadn't realized that I had not dealt with it until last week when I found myself telling the perfect stranger how my life nearly ended one fateful day in August whilst 8 months pregnant.
I found myself on the floor of my bedroom, endless tears found their way to my protruding belly, this was it, I was ready to take my own life and that of my unborn baby. What had brought me to this point, driven me over the edge? There is no event that I can blame on my actions, nobody to blame for allowing life to get to me...I only have the lack of self love to blame.
I look at her now and promise myself that no other human being can make me feel like I'm less than nothing,
I recently looked up the definition of perfectly flawed:
"Acceptance that nobody can be perfect, everyone has their flaws yet they embrace them, allow them to come to terms with their mistakes yet not allow them to define them"
I read it over and over again until it was so deeply instilled in me, I am not my flaws and mistakes. I am beautiful, I am a great mother, I am love and I am loved!
I've come a long way since that day, anyone who knows me knows how strongly I preach #SelfLove! It has been quite the journey...the road to loving myself unconditionally! And now, when I look at the precious life for which I am responsible, I thank the heavens for knocking some sense into me via Yellow's intervention that day.
Above all else, love yourself till it shows!
May others learn from your self love and love themselves just as much.
I deserve the best because I am the best me I can be
As corny as this may sound, self love saved my life!
To my baby girl, mommy is young and mommy will continue to make mistakes and learn from them. But you, you are my greatest achievement in life, my happiness is your happiness!
